It All Starts with a Question
by RandomAznNoobieNeenjazoncrack
Summary: Ryuk asks some questions and strange and interesting things happen... More chapters to come. Crackfic. AUish. Rated T to be safe. PLZ Read&Review!
1. Internet

Disclaimer: We, Ayumi Nazu and Bunny, do not own Death Note. Although Bunny does have a Death note in her house. (Heh Heh Heh)

A/N: So this story was made in our French class. We were really bored so we came up with this. It makes absolutely no sense at all and the whole thing is OOC. This story takes place way before the manga/anime. Ryuk is young and clueless. Enjoy :3

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One day, Ryuk was especially bored so he asked one of his Shinigami friends a question. 

"What would happen if we filled out our entire Death Note?"

"Then we ummm… DIE! Are you happy with that answer?" said his random Shinigami friend.

"NO! We can't die you idiot! We're Shinigamis!!!" and Ryuk went stomping off.

Ryuk was walking around and thought "And what would happen if I got a human to fill out the Death Note? Oh well, it doesn't matter." So he went back to ask his friend another question.

"What's a 'mimsy'?"

Ryuk's friend eyes twitched. "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, A DICTIONARY? Go check on the Internet." And the friend shooed Ryuk away.

"Internet… what's that?" wondered Ryuk. So our little pea sized brain Shinigami went back to his friend in hopes he has an answer to his very intelligent question.

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone?" asked "friend"

"Maybeee…. If I like your answer." Said Ryuk

"I think it's in the human world. Go check…"

"Um… NOPE!!! So what would you do if saw a monkey who had wings and a machine gun and it was flying around about to kill you???"

"LEAVE ALREADY!!!!!!"

Ryuk sadly walked away. He had a gloomy aura shrouding him like a fog. Then, he suddenly turned around and said "What if you saw—," and his frustrated friend threw a big juicy watermelon at poor little Ryuk's head and it exploded (the watermelon… not Ryuk's head).

Now the pitiful Ryuk is sad AND covered in sticky watermelon juice. He chose to lick off the sweet juices of the fruit off his face. "Hooray for long tongues!!!" he thought to himself.

After five minutes of cleaning off his face, he got bored and decided, "I think I will check out the Internet thing in the human world." and he left on his adventure to our little realm of people.

In the human world, also known as Earth, Ryuk passed through people like a ghost. He felt icky while doing that. He wasn't used to it. He passed by place with the name "Internet Café" hanging over the door. To his surprise, he saw his friend from before. "I wonder what he's doing here?" Ryuk wondered as he walked into the café.

Sadly, he has the attention span of a squirrel and got distracted by a store selling nice shiny red apples. "Ooooohh… apples!" and he takes a juicy red apple in his hand. Then he notices a little girl staring at the apple. In her eyes, the apple is floating since she can't see Ryuk so she calls her mother and says "Mommy look! There's a flying apple!!!"

Ryuk, not knowing what he should do, threw the bright red apple at the defenseless girl's head.

"Owie!" shrieked the girl. She starts crying and attracts much attention. "Mommy!!! The flying apple hit me!" se said between sobs while pointing at the swelling bump at her head.

In all the confusion, Ryuk took an armful of apples and he left.

He crunches happily into the apples as he walks home.

"That reminds me, why was I in the human world again?"

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So that was our little crackfic. More question to come. R&R please. Maybe Ryuk's adventures will come faster that way.  



	2. Ryuk is an Innocent Boy

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah… we don't own anything and we're sad boohoo. Now on with the chapter.

Ryuk was munching on his delicious apple when he noticed that… IT'S HIS LAST APPLE!!! Ryuk went to ask his friend if he has any.

"OI! Do you have any apples?"

"…no," Ryuk's friend said slightly annoyed.

"Oh… Do you know what hentai is?" Ryuk asked being the innocent little Shimigami he is.

Ryuk's friend froze. Him being older than Ryuk, knows what hentai is. He stuttered as he tried to explain the difficult subject of hentai.

"Umm, it's- you- I-I don't know…"

"Yes you do! You're just not telling me."

"You don't need to know what hentai is!!!" Ryuk's friend retorted.

"Yes I need to know what hentai is or else I'll bug you for who knows how long. So tell me!!!" Ryuk begged.

"Too bad!" and the friend pushed him and he "accidentally" fell into the human world, right in front of a… let's just say an eighteen plus magazine store. On the bottom corner of the shop's window, there was a sign. It read: "Hentai Now Available" in small red bold letters.

"Hmmm," Ryuk thought, "maybe the answer to my question is in here."

He walked into the store and looked around. He noticed a big colourful sign near the back of the store. When he got closer to the sign, he saw that it said "HENTAI" and it pointed to a certain shelf. Ryuk went to the shelf and over it, an other sign said "18 years "

"Well I'm 10296 years old. So I guess I could read it." Just to say, 10296 years old translates to about 10 years old. Ryuk took a magazine and opened it.

"EEEK! Boobies!" and he closed the magazine and threw it back onto the shelf. Ryuk went to the shelf next to that one and a sign said "Ecchi (soft-core hentai)". He decided to check these magazines for some answers. He picked a magazine, opened it and closed it automatically. Our poor little clueless death god went on like that for about fifteen minutes until he decided he had enough.

Ryuk was about to leave when he saw a scrumptious looking apple behind the counter. It was probably the owner's snack.

"I'm hungry," he thought, so he sneaked past the shopkeeper (not that he needed to) and took the apple. He was about to take a bite but the owner guy turned around for his apple and saw Ryuk.

"ZOMGZ! FLOATING APPLE!" and the owner continued spazzing like crazy.

Ryuk thought the only way to shut this guy up was to smother him in his own magazines so, he did. While holding the apple in his mouth, he grabbed an armful of magazines and threw it at the shopkeeper. Ryuk took this as his chance to escape.

He decided that it was about time to go home but not before he stole more apples. After discreetly stealing some apples, Ryuk got home to see his friend reading one of those "adult magazines". Ryuk took the magazine and threw it in the fire that was conveniently located right next to them.

"Hey! I paid for that!" Ryuk's friend shouted.

"Why the heck did you pay for that? You could've stolen it. Either way, reading that magazine can't be any good for you."

"…"

"So anyways, when you pushed me into the human world, I landed in front of a magazine store that sold magazines like the one you were reading and there was sign that said "Hentai now available" so I went in to see if they had any hentai. There was another "hentai" sign that pointed to a shelf so I looked at one of the magazines. All I saw were naked girls. Nothing explained what hentai is." 

"Ryuk… Sometimes, you can be really, really stupid."


End file.
